Assumed motives are never safe or productive. We cannot know another persons motives and can only test organizations motive with study and patience to see the fruit and then understand the results.

One of the biggest things in our other human relationships is that we cannot assume another persons motives. In Proverbs (Gods book about wisdom) 16:2 it states that “all a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.” It is clear here that even we do not actually know our own motives because we think we are innocent. I have prayed often to ask the Lord to show me the motives of my own heart, especially when that little child inside rises up and is throwing a fit because I did not get what I wanted. And what was it that I wanted or why was it so important? Often I would think I had the others best interest at heart. It was for their own good , what was best for them. This is so often a lie and we need to ask the Lord for clarity to understand our own unhappiness in issues.

 A good example is recently my children have begun to plan a Christmas gathering. None of our family has a lot of extra capital and so a small home of one child will be full to the brim with kids. The rest will stay in a hotel nearby, again an added expense. It would be the first Christmas all the kids would be together in forever. It would be difficult for me to afford to be there at that time and so I probably wont go. The crowd event will make it hard to really visit with any individual and just the act of being together seems like a great loving picture. The reality may be arguments and fights or self centered fits when one of them does not get to control things and so it may not be all that much fun. But I want to be there. Not because I would really add to that interaction. Not because they would have fun with me coming. I want to be there so I wont be left out. The opportunity to visit each one individually would be much more enjoyable and fun but I do not want be excluded. I do not want them to have fun  without me. The core fear I have is that they don’t need or  want me in their lives. That is not basically true although often there actions speak volumes. So why do I want to be there with them. Not because it would be the best time I just want to be invited and wanted and loved. Not a pure motive, yet if I spoke to others I would hear oh you should be there with your kids. Christmas all together is the way it should be. And then my motives which were to have them fill me up would put pressure on the scene and then , no fun.

1corinth 4:5 “ Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.”

I could choose to be hurt by my children or accept that I am asking them to meet needs that I can fill with my relationship with Jesus. I can take pressure off my loved ones. I can truly love them and not think they are motivated to hurt me and continue to reach out and find them when they have time in busy lives to be with me. I can choose to find others that are alone during the holidays and add them to a place where I can minister Christ’s love to them and find hope in that relationship. I can humbly continue to ask God when the child like tantrum rises up in me where it is coming from and what He wants me to do with it. Then my inner Joy remains because Jesus loved me first.

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