Assumed motives are never safe or productive. We cannot know another persons motives and can only test organizations motive with study and patience to see the fruit and then understand the results.

One of the biggest things in our other human relationships is that we cannot assume another persons motives. In Proverbs (Gods book about wisdom) 16:2 it states that “all a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord.” It is clear here that even we do not actually know our own motives because we think we are innocent. I have prayed often to ask the Lord to show me the motives of my own heart, especially when that little child inside rises up and is throwing a fit because I did not get what I wanted. And what was it that I wanted or why was it so important? Often I would think I had the others best interest at heart. It was for their own good , what was best for them. This is so often a lie and we need to ask the Lord for clarity to understand our own unhappiness in issues.

 A good example is recently my children have begun to plan a Christmas gathering. None of our family has a lot of extra capital and so a small home of one child will be full to the brim with kids. The rest will stay in a hotel nearby, again an added expense. It would be the first Christmas all the kids would be together in forever. It would be difficult for me to afford to be there at that time and so I probably wont go. The crowd event will make it hard to really visit with any individual and just the act of being together seems like a great loving picture. The reality may be arguments and fights or self centered fits when one of them does not get to control things and so it may not be all that much fun. But I want to be there. Not because I would really add to that interaction. Not because they would have fun with me coming. I want to be there so I wont be left out. The opportunity to visit each one individually would be much more enjoyable and fun but I do not want be excluded. I do not want them to have fun  without me. The core fear I have is that they don’t need or  want me in their lives. That is not basically true although often there actions speak volumes. So why do I want to be there with them. Not because it would be the best time I just want to be invited and wanted and loved. Not a pure motive, yet if I spoke to others I would hear oh you should be there with your kids. Christmas all together is the way it should be. And then my motives which were to have them fill me up would put pressure on the scene and then , no fun.

1corinth 4:5 “ Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.”

I could choose to be hurt by my children or accept that I am asking them to meet needs that I can fill with my relationship with Jesus. I can take pressure off my loved ones. I can truly love them and not think they are motivated to hurt me and continue to reach out and find them when they have time in busy lives to be with me. I can choose to find others that are alone during the holidays and add them to a place where I can minister Christ’s love to them and find hope in that relationship. I can humbly continue to ask God when the child like tantrum rises up in me where it is coming from and what He wants me to do with it. Then my inner Joy remains because Jesus loved me first.

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Grandchildren are so cool? Why

So Would you ask, Why are grandchildren so cool? A non scientific study, asking various patients of mine, why are they are so special. It is hard to put the finger on it exactly. Partly because grandchildren are not our total responsibility we can see them a little more distantly. When they are born hopefully we are older and little more cognizant of how often kids do not make it. Life in the US is a bit more easily survived but still things happen. Babies do not always make it out after nine months. Babies are born with handicaps. Babies are vulnerable for a long time and take a lot of care. Our three year old grandson was in neonatal ICU for a week. Then we have the fact that we may not be so rushed, or are we. If we are beginning to have wisdom we are not so rushed. We can patiently wait and see how the little ones are sponges and they are absorbing everything around them. We realize in a more profound way that they do what we do not what we say, and more importantly they are our heroes. Because we can be theirs. I had a patient share the other day that the greatest gift in the world is that his three and one half year old grandson thinks grandpa is funny. Grandparents will often take the time for the little ones because as the time continuum marches on we realize how fleeting our life really is, and how as we get older we have realized how fast it all really goes.

We are not so stressed to realize that even if we are not perfect parents our kids can grow up and be wonderful contributing adults, even friends. They are refreshing as spring, a sign of new beginnings like the advice to know that if we forget the past we can begin our day new each day and make all new mistakes.. thank you that God’s mercies are new each day. And as our own children can be forgiving then our grandchildren can forgive us even more and quickly because we have time. Is that not all our children want from us is our time? We can wisely know that the only thing that really matters in life is relationships and that grandkids are worth just spending time with them. So celebrate if you have grandchildren. Celebrate if you have children and could have grandchildren. If you are old enough to have grandchildren and do not, go find some children that also do not have parents or grandparents and just spend time with them. It will bless you .

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Who am I


Who am I ?

     I have been a dental hygienist for over thirty years. My children’s father says that I loved that field because I have a captive audience. They cannot speak. Well, in my older years I have learned when time allows to ask my patients who they are and they light up. I am a person interested in other people because my God made me a relational being. And so I begin, blogging and tweeting in this world and adding my wisdom, that only comes from being in and out of many seasons as this process called life blesses us with wisdom of time and the great Grace and Mercy that  my God has given me.

I am a blessed mother of four and a greatly amazed and blessed grandmother of seven. This is for you and I want you to let me know back what wisdom do you need dear one, because God has made Him available right now through Jesus and His gift of the Comforter.

 check out nanaswisdoms at twitter


Irene once Potter, then Bell now adding Becker.

Irene BellBecker alias NANA

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Wisdom for life, health and relationships- what really matters

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